I have this struggle.
It makes me run, it makes me hide in the deep shadows. It closes me up.
This struggle is called fear.
It’s an everyday endeavor. To share the love of my Saviour or not?
Fear is something that seems to take so many people over (especially myself) and it breaks my heart. It discourages people to the max. It makes one not want to share of the very One who created them. It steals their passion + love in life and that has become my very problem lately.
Blogging has become harder for me. Sharing the real me and what is on my heart with others? It has began to terrify me. To the point where I felt like I had to take a break.
I realized that “break” was just me running, running back into the dark shadows. You see when I blog, I feel my relationship with Christ growing and I absolutely love that. I love sharing about the One who holds my life in the palm of His hand, the One who guides and loves me more than I could fathom. I love to share about my faith and my journey with Christ. But I realized that my “break” was the devil interceding and I’m sure he was rejoicing in the fact that I took a “break” of sharing about my God.
If sharing about Christ scares you and fear threatens to take you over, remember this: That’s exactly what the devil wants. He want’s to see you run and hide.
Fear is just one of the many things that the devil disguises himself as, but fear seemed to be my weakness. Exactly what the devil wanted.
To open up and be real with others is so difficult for me and he knew that, but I’m so thankful I have a choice. I don’t have to let fear win. God has clearly shown me that running and hiding is not the answer or choice I want to make.
In Joshua 1:9 it says: (KJV)
Have not I commanded thee? be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be though dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever though goest.
My strength and courage comes from Him. Only through Christ am I able to share of His love, because trust me I would fail exceedingly on my own.
I’m ashamed to say that my fear at times reminds me of Jonah. He ran from the presence of God. God called him to do something and fear took over. When you run from God and what He has called you to share you may miss an opportunity to help + encourage another struggling soul. By hiding what God has asked you to share or by taking a step back into the shadows you could miss the opportunity of being a blessing to someone.
When other Christians aren’t being blessed by our life something must wrong.
This is what happened with Jonah, he was trying to run and hide from the presence of God and by doing that he brought rough water into people’s life, but the amazing part of the story is when Jonah admitted that he was hiding + running, and the calm waters began to return.
11 – Then said they unto him, What shall we do unto thee, that the sea may be calm unto us? for the sea wrought, and was tempestuous.
12 – And he said unto them, Take me up, and cast me forth into the sea; so shall the sea be calm unto you: for I know that for my sake this great tempest is upon you.
You can’t run from God.
Running from what God has asked you to do is like running from an opportunity to make a difference in one’s life.
I think it hit Jonah like a brick when he realized what he was really doing, that his sin and disobedience to God was harming others. That he was actually running from the all-knowing + almighty God. It says in chapter two that he began to cry and pray out to God from the belly of a whale.
Running didn’t get him out of doing what God had asked of him, but it did affect those around him.
There is no point in running from God, the only place it will lead us is right out of the will of God.
I find the story of Jonah so interesting, because it shows us the harm we can do to others and our own relationship with God from hiding.
Sometimes the devil takes your weakness and uses it in a subtle way to deteriorate your relationship with God, without you even realizing it.
I never want to purposefully run from God or what he has asked me to do. I like the story of Jonah, because it shows that you can’t run from God no matter the circumstance’s.
Sharing all of this is hard for me. It’s a step outside my comfort zone, but I can’t stand the fact that the devil would be rejoicing in the fact that I let fear take me over, in the fact that I was hiding in the shadows, and in the fact that I took a “break” from sharing about my Savior. I have a daily choice to make and I pray that fear wont win. A relationship with Christ is a journey and our daily decisions affect it greatly.
I share this struggle of mine, because I hope that it may help you. You aren’t alone. I’m by no means a “perfect Christian” and I fail daily. I’m thankful for the fact that God’s mercies are new everyday and that we don’t have to run this race alone.
Blessings, ♥ M.grace